FORBIDDEN FRUIT.
EVE’S EXILE WAS HOLY MATRIMONY.
Majority of us are familiar with the infamous story of Adam and Eve. A tale of temptation, betrayal, love and exile. A layered story that has been reduced over time as a method to place women in subservience to their dark natures and men. When the snake whispered to Eve in a rather convincing manner, it mirrored her own inner wisdom that resides in her psyche, body, and spirit. It mirrored the dark nature that already existed within her but was disjunct. Her Lilith. Her dark feminine. Eve never originated from man; however, that belief is what tainted her ability to integrate her darkness in the moment where God was meeting her. It convinced her that all she was worthy of was her light. Her ability to conceive. Her ability to serve her male counterpart. Her ability to submit and be obedient.
But who is the dark feminine…really?
We blame Eve for the fact that women have periods. As if containing a built in alchemical process into our wombs is a “curse.” We blame Eve for eating the apple, as if our dark natures don’t deserve nourishment. We commend Adam for remaining compliant, and we demonize Eve for her longing for exploration. And Lilith….Lilith. Lilith. Lilith. A figure who was willing to be exiled in the name of holy matrimony. Not the union of her and man, per say, but the union between her own feminine and masculine aspects. She sought to discover herself within herself. She sought to preserve her sovereignty. She never wanted her essence to be a mere extension of a man. She wanted her essence to be an extension of herself, even at the expense of her reputation. Even at the expense of being exiled. Eve had her own inner Lilith. That’s who whispered to her through the body of a serpent. We even seek to demonize the serpent. We label it as untrustworthy. Deceptive. Cunning. What if the aspects that we deny are only mirrored through the nature of the serpent. If we deem our dark natures as untrustworthy, deceptive, and cunning, then that is what will be mirrored back to us through nature. Why should we demonize the omens and communications of nature? Often because we demonize aspects of ourselves. I think what the human mind struggles to grasp is this idea of duality–the merging of seemingly opposite polarities on a given spectrum. To be a person that society deems worthy of love, commitment and reverence she mustn’t be a host of things that often deny primality.
Eating the apple.
The world has become a bunch of people subscribing to an imaginary rule book based on diverging forms of righteousness. Everyone has become a shell of themselves in order to maintain respectability–to maintain ‘social order.’ I must ask...if one has to suppress an aspect of themselves to maintain social order, is it truly social order or is it docility? Lilith chose not to be docile. Eve chose not to be docile in another context. This is the core of what the dark feminine truly is. She isn’t meant to take over the entirety of who you are. She isn’t meant to be limited to what the human mind can conceptualize. She is meant to be embodied through the integration of our own shadows. Maybe Eve was supposed to eat the apple after all. Maybe life wasn’t supposed to be a place where we lived in pure bliss or ignorance. Maybe we're supposed to encounter the darkest aspects of who we are in this physical form. Maybe it was easier after all to blame a woman who decided to not have a passive or fear-based approach to decision-making for all the “horrors” of society right? After all, a mass amount of women who knew they held a portal of both creation and destruction is the biggest threat to society. Lilith didn’t just go on some hysteric rage after being exiled because her feelings were hurt. She oscillated to that polarity to highlight that what she created can also be destroyed. Gruesome? Sure. An extravagant point to prove? Maybe. But who are we to dictate the lengths of a woman’s rage? A rage that lies in all who can relate to being confined to a box of psychological slavery. A rage that has created wars. A rage that runs so deep. A relatable rage. A rage that most would exile me for if acted upon. Instead of projecting my rage onto the perpetrators, I eat the apple. I meet God everytime I eat an apple. Sometimes God even hands me the apple. Not as some test to determine how pure I am in the eyes of man, but as an act of defiance towards outer world impositions and an emphasis on loyalty to my inner world. My life is dedicated to living in holy matrimony with myself. Not as a mere shell but as everything. I am the whore and the holy one.light and dark. beauty and horror.
Do you dare to be exiled?
I could go on and on dissecting the intricacies of this story, and over time I will. But I’ll leave you all with this. WHY do we fear knowledge? WHY do we fear wisdom? Because it derives from a darker nature. It calls us into the shadows. It calls us into exile. It calls us into temptation. Where there is temptation, there is sovereignty. True holiness isn’t in blind purity or rejection of the shadow. Are you truly holy/pure or are you merely obedient? If you are obedient, obedient to who and by whose standard? Do you dare to be exiled?
